Update

Attention!

Good things are happening here.

I talked to my contact at Deseret Book today and we renamed Ugly Duckling on South Field. The new official title is Becoming Bayley. I'm excited about this and I think between the cover and the title, the reader will get a good feeling for what's inside the book. Also it was awesome to hear the words Cover Artist and Publicist tossed around in reference to me and my book.

Sweet!

The other thing I wanted to give you a heads up about is this website. Remember my friend who made up those amazing book covers for Putting Up Stars? Well, she's working on a new look for this website. I can't wait to show you. But it's still going to be a little while.

That's all.

You may now return to your regularly schedule life.

Counting Change

I think I'm going to have to disconnect the radio in my husband's work truck. It's ruining our marriage.

Stinkin' Dave Ramsey.

Have y'all heard of him? He's this Southern Baptist financial Guru talk show host dude. And he's wicked smart. 

Right now, I hate him.

Like my husband wasn't enough of a tightwad already--he had to start listening to this guy.

This month, Husband wants to use only cash for everything. One of Dave's ideas. If you set aside a pre-allotted amount of cash and don't go over, you're forced to stick to your budget. 

Sounds like a great plan, doesn't it? Except for when it's not.

So last night after we took the kids to Coldstone (with a gift card that someone had given us) Husband drove us over to Walmart so I could run in and get two gallons of milk. Because we drink a lot of milk and the worst thing is to find out on Sunday that we don't have enough to make it to Monday. We can't function without it.

I hopped out while he and the kids stayed in the car. It was raining and cold. As I was walking back to the dairy section I realized-DANG!-I don't have any cash. I knew Husband had some but there was no way I was going back out in that weather to ask him for six bucks, especially when I wasn't sure where he'd parked the car. 

So I thought about it, guys...using the forbidden Debit Card.

But then I weighed the wrath of Husband and knew I should try to pay for at least one gallon with cash. I dug through my purse and realized, hey, I might have enough change to pay for both gallons. Woot! Woot!

I stepped in the express lane and set my purchases on top of the cooler next to the counter. The guy in front of me was buying a years supply of Reese's Cups. I pulled out a handful of change and started pushing quarters, dimes, and nickels around. And then I realized proudly that yes, I did have enough. Husband was going to crown me Wife of the Year.

I started recounting because there is nothing more embarrassing then finding out you don't have enough money when you thought you did. Especially when you're paying in change.

And then I squirmed. Another nickel, another dime. My neck was twitching. Because Peanut Butter Cup guy was watching me. Every few seconds he'd glance my way. I made sure not to make eye contact.

He swiped his card, grabbed his bags and then stepped out of the way so I could scoot up. 

As he turned toward me, my brain was screaming, Don't say it! Just walk away and shove a candy in your mouth!

"So, I saw that you were counting your change. And I wondered if I could buy those for you."

I wanted to be irritated but how could I? My heart hiccuped and I melted into a puddle.

Because how nice was that? Isn't it awesome that people still do things like that for other people? Sometimes, when I turn on the t.v. I feel like I'm covered in nasty muck when I'm done. Desperate Housewives, Political Debates, the news*. And I forget that there are people all around me that are good and kind and worried about others.

When I got in the car and told my kids they got all excited and asked if I let the guy buy our milk? They'd never heard of such a thing.

"No," I said. "I told him about Husband and his decision to use only cash, except I forgot the cash, and that my debit card actually had plenty of money on it and how sweet that was of him, and thank you anyway."

The guy smiled and walked away. He probably slept like a baby. I know I did.

But I doubt I'll forget his six dollar generosity anytime soon. I don't want to. As a matter of fact, I'm going to keep my eyes open for People Counting Change. And maybe I'll ask for a little divine help in finding someone this week. 

But first, I'm going to put some cash in my wallet!

*I don't actually watch any of those. I stick to Food Netwook. It's family friendly.

For Me

I've read somewhere that there are writers who enjoy starting a new story. Me? I hate it. 

Okay, maybe not hate so much. But it exhausts me.

Let me break it down for you.

In all of my stories, there's a girl. That girl will be the MC (main character) and something hard will happen to her. Something that will hurt, but will also make her stretch and grow. 

And I'll probably already know the ending. But not the beginning.

So I'll sit down and decide where to begin. I'll write a few or twenty thousand words, and then I'll realize I don't need one of my characters and I'll start over, completely ripping them out of the story. Then I'll start over again. This may happen three or four times. It takes days, maybe months.

I have no idea why I am this way, but I am. 

The other night, I enjoyed a quick congratulations conversation with a friend. Last year around this time, I was in tears and he gave me some advice. 

Push through.

He gave me that exact advice again this year. (Funny that I would be in the same spot a year later when I've come so far.)

He's no writer, but he is very wise. And he was right. I knew he was right when he said it the first time. Heck, I knew he was right before he said it. But it was what I needed to hear then, and it was what I needed to hear now. 

And today, friends, I hit that point.

The point where the pushing through pays off. It happens every time. I hate what I write until suddenly...I love it. It all clicks and starts working and when the kids get home, rather than welcoming the opportunity to quit, I find myself holding up a finger and saying, "Just a sec, I have to get this down."

It's a wonderful day when it comes, because things start getting fun. Rewarding. Enjoyable. Words flow rather than fight. 

And I'm there. *Sighs*

This is the way life works for me on so many things, not just writing. 

How do you roll?

Things I discovered while vacationing in Wyoming

1. That this kid is super determined. She worked for hours to be able to do a cartwheel and finally figured out the aerodynamics of it all. Her flips weren't pretty, but they were cartwheelish. I was so proud of her for working for what she wanted. Go her!

2. That this kid is determined too. He stayed outside for an extra hour, scooping, patting and sculpting to make a huge wall of snow, all by himself. He didn't care that there were wolves, bear, moose, and elk roaming everywhere. Or that I was having major anxiety about his sweet little eight year old body possibly becoming part of the food chain.

3. You guessed it. This child is also determined. He and his cousin fished for DAYS in the freezing rain. And finally....

(The fish were much larger and more impressive in person. And delicious.)

4. And this child is just adorable. But we already knew that.

5. So the other thing I learned is that determination pays off. Actually, I already knew it but I got a huge reminder this week.

Take a close look at this picture.

Not at me, sillies. I look ridiculous, as always. And not at my kids, even though they are uninheritedly adorable. (Did I just come up with a new word? Look for it in next year's Webster's.) Squint at the lettering on that building in the background. Hint...I was standing on Temple Square in Salt Lake City when it was taken.

Still can't see? Let's blow that baby up.

If you haven't already figured it out, I'll clue you in.

I'm GETTING PUBLISHED!*

They gave me a choice of going ebook only or waiting six months to see if they could fit me in the line up for 2013. Surprisingly, I chose the ebook. It just felt right. But we can talk more about that later. Right now I have to get off here and come up with a new title. Any ideas?

Mwah!

*As long as their are not hitches. I get the feeling that this is like buying a house. Escrow and all that.

What's good?

I have this gift, or maybe it's a curse. I can walk down the aisle at the bookstore and tell just by looking what books are good and which ones are going to make me feel like I'm covered in soul-sucking slime when I'm done. I can't even pretend ignorance when it turns out bad.

I was talking to a Institute teacher the other day and he said he has a hard time sitting through Sunday School because the minute the teacher starts, he's critiquing the person in his head. He's a teaching snob. Likewise, I've become a book snob. Because once you know how to craft a plot, and that every character should be round (as in not flat, as in they should take a journey, show growth, etc.) you can't talk yourself into liking something mediocre. Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about? Consider yourself lucky. There was a time when I thoroughly enjoyed authors who mostly tell instead of show. A lot of them are famous and make lots of money. I can't even read them anymore. I bet some of you are nodding your heads with me. Can I get an Amen, sista?

So we've established that I like good writing.

But I love stuff that, when I'm through, I feel like a better person because of it. Things like this are rare but they are out there. And my goal as a writer is to write this kind of stuff. But until my stuff gets published you'll just have to suffer through with this list I've come up with. (We're having humble pie for dinner.)

Best books, in no particular order:

1. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Gerald Lund's The Kingdom and The Crown. The Work and the Glory isn't bad, but this helps you really understand parables and what happened when Christ lived.

2. These Is My Words. It's a love story, a life story, a pioneer type of story. This is probably the best journal-style book I've ever read.

3. I've said this one before too. David Bowman's Who's Your Hero Series. Even after all these years my kids are still mesmerized.

4. Being Sixteen by Ally Condie--a story about sisters, eating disorders and having your heart broken. This is probably the best written YA LDS novel ever written. (IMHO of course.) And it's a standard I try to live up to when I write.

5. The Secret Journal of Brett Colton by Kay Lynn Mangum. A story about a teenage girl who gets to know her dead brother through a journal he left for her. It's beautiful, but grab a box of tissues. You need it.

6. Seven Daughters and Seven Sons by Cohen and Lovegood. Not to be confused with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Not even close. This is an Iraqi love story. And as weird as it sounds, I can honestly tell you, it's one of my favorite books. Maybe my favorite. I read it over and over. It's got such a great plot and a gentle love story.

But do you see how short that is? I'm either having a senior moment or this is a really sad world we live in.

Now here's my challenge to you: I'm getting on a plane on Tuesday and flying clear across the country. And I'm just realizing that the book I ordered to read on the trip may not get here in time. I need suggestions, people! Give me good, heart-warming, you feel so happy when you're done, books. That doesn't mean that have to be cheeseball romances with happy endings (though romances are greatly appreciated). Just an ending where you feel super satisfied.

How often are you solicited for advice? Go on. You know you want to.

Loves

Loves...

1. That my husband comes home almost every day for lunch. It's a habit that formed without planning. It doesn't always happen, but I look forward to the days that it does.

2. That we live close enough to my parents that we can visit often.

3. That I was raised on and my parents still live on a farm. If you're not acquainted with farm life you're missing out. I truly understand how people fall in love with their land and never want to leave. There's something about stretching out your legs and walking over your piece earth, knowing it'll always be there for you no matter what.

4. That I have two days to get the house organized while my three oldest play at the farm with their cousins.

5. That it's still fairly warm here. High tomorrow should be upper 50's. That's pretty good since it's almost January. Maybe Husband and I will go hiking.

6. When an idea for a story I'm working on just pops into my head, and I know it's the right thing to do because of how excited it makes me. That happened this week. Today I start tweaking.

7. My online critique group. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I can't say it enough. They rock. If you're trying to write and you don't have at least a critique buddy, you don't know what you're missing.

8. That I got to see an arc of Dos's book. It looks awesome. They changed the title to Red Cell. And my name is in the acknowledgments. Don't ask why. I had absolutely nothing to do with him writing that book. But it's nice to have this love in common with him and to watch him succeed.

9. The women I work with in Young Women's and the girls. They amaze me with their ideas and with how together they are. I have no idea why I'm the president when they teach me new things every day.

10. That the New Year is almost here. I'm a strong believer in resolutions. I had one seven years ago that completely altered a relationship of mine that needed it so badly. Change can happen if you have determination.

What do you love?

Raise My Glass (Metaphorically, of course.)

I was driving today when the song, "Raise Your Glass," came on. I heart this song. (Before you Raise Your Eyebrow, hear me out.) But not as much as the person who introduced me to it.

The girl who made me a wicked in-law. Except I'm not, wicked. And neither is she.

In fact, she is quite the opposite.

Tres's wife is a rockstar. She quilts, reads, shops, cooks, cleans and drives a sweet Mustang in which she blasts the base like a teenager. She planned out a 5 am breakfast when Will and Kate got married and invited everyone. And she's the queen of the midnight showing. Harry Potter or Twilight, it doesn't matter. She's there.

But it's the capacity with which she carries out her job that blows my mind. Not that I've ever seen her in action. I haven't. But here's what I have seen. Lots and lots of people who've had to visit her clinic for one reason or another or who know her professionally. And whenever I meet one of these people my heart dips a little and I ask them if they're okay.

Because J. is a surgeon who specializes in Breast surgery.

Not too long ago she participated in a Pink Glove dance with some of the other surgeons in the area, a lot of nurses, and breast cancer survivors, the Hokie Dance team (can't remember their title) and the marching band. It rocks. And every time I hear the song or see the video I get teary eyed because of what she does for those women.

Yes, people. I tear up at Pink. Anyway. Back to my point.

The women in this community are lucky to have J.

And so am I.

I thought about stopping there--only telling you about her, but then I realized that would be a disservice to my other amazing sister in laws. So hold on tight and get ready for a ride.

Also today, I happened to answer a phone call for my mom. Lucky me--it was Dos's wife. I heart this chick too, if for no other reason, than the fact that she's Adam's mom (you can read about that awesomeness here.).  But here's the thing. This girl gets me. I was super frustrated about something and I just laid it on her, as if her life isn't hectic and heavy enough. And you know what? I could hear her nodding through the phone and she just kept saying, "I know, I know," and telling me how everything was going to be fine, and that it was okay if I wanted to take a break from this heavy thing I'm dealing with. When I got off the phone I felt so much lighter. Because that's all I needed--for someone to tell me they understood, and that yes, sometimes life sucks and it's so hard but it's going to work out.

Thank you, Janna.

Uno's wife. I won't give you her resume, because you'd be so intimidated which is ridiculous because she is one of the most real people I know. But I will tell you that she's a veterinarian. When Husband decided he wanted to be a vet, I know he was nervous to tell her. She is wicked smart. And we'd gotten more than a few raised eyebrows.

You want to know what she did?

She was excited and answered all his questions and encouraged him and hooked him up with connections and made him feel so empowered. She could have patronized him and told him all the reasons he shouldn't. But she didn't.

I will love her forever for that. And for a lot of other reasons too, but that's the biggest one.

We're half way done y'all. Hang tight.

Husband's oldest sister. I won't tell you her whole story because it's hers and it's very personal. But I will tell you this. She lost her husband to cancer ten years ago. She had three small kids and no idea how they were going to make it. I watched her sit through the entire funeral and not shed a tear. But it wasn't because she wasn't hurting. It's because she's a rock. The toughest person I've ever met. In all those years, that I know of, she's never slipped her wedding ring off, never been on a date and never stopped raising those kids and teaching them the gospel. I know there are times when she doesn't know how she can keep going, but she just does.

I could go so much deeper here, but I won't. Just know that I love spending time with her. She's super fun and funny and I always look forward to seeing her.

And I know she doesn't think it, but I'm positive her husband is proud of her.

Next sis-in-law. Husband's older brother's wife. This one has been through a lot of hard stuff in the last few years. Things that cut deep. Things I don't think she ever saw coming. And she too, hasn't quit. She loves her kids and her husband so much. She works hard to protect them and to keep them strong. I know she feels pretty alone sometimes. I hope she knows she isn't.

Husband's younger brother's wife. I honestly don't know this girl very well. I met her once a few years back. But I am her friend on Facebook and here's what I do know. She loves her kid so much. Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen someone love their kid as much as she does. Every day she posts at least one thing about how much she loves her kid. And it makes me smile every time. And it reminds me of how precious our kids are and how they're only little for so long. That's something I easily overlook now that mine are getting older and more independant. I want her to know I appreciate the reminder.

Husbands sister. She's adopted and there's no hiding it because she's kind of a different color than the rest of them. Actually, there's no kind of about it. But you wouldn't know anyone in that family even thinks about it. I honestly don't think they do. I know, I don't. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be adopted. But I don't really hear her talk about it much. And she doesn't act like she is. She's just fun, and goofy and hip and witty and cute. She's an elementary education major and I already know she's going to rock out as a teacher, because she's amazing with kids.

I can't wait to see what good things happen next for her.

I think I'm just beginning to realize that life is hard in some way or another for everyone. And this is why Heavenly Father gave us families. Parent's, siblings, spouses, kids, sisters in law. We help each other through.

I always complained when I was a kid that I didn't have a sister. I wanted one so bad. I begged my parent's to adopt but my mom knew she had all she could handle. I kept asking anyway. She could have saved herself so much agony if she just would've pointed my eyes to the future. Because I may not have been blessed in my family of origin with sisters, but I got them anyway.

They add spice to my life and give me what I need when I need it, whether it be new silverware, or a listening ear or simply to tell me my shirt is pretty. They are examples to me, but most importantly, friends.

To all of them, from one side of the country to the other...

I raise my glass.



For any of you who want to see the Pink Glove dance video that Tres's wife is in...