Seeing

First let me start by saying--I. Am. So. Sorry. I know my blog is hideous right now. You don't need to email me. I know it. My awesome sis-in-law (Dos's wife) is going to help me fix it just as soon as she's done nursing and mommying her two wild and crazy boys (aren't all boys like this? Mine are.). But it's coming y'all--something better.

Here's what I came to say...

Husband had the day off yesterday and as we often do on days like that, we took a nap. And just like every other time we nap together, I woke up long before Husband. I'm a fifteen minute-er and he's a two hour-er. When I opened my eyes, his were still closed and he was breathing softly (not snoring, like he usually does), and yes a little drool was dripping onto the pillow. But that's completely beside the point.

The point is that for once I didn't get up and do something productive. I just laid there. (Is it laid or lay?) Laid there and stared at my sleeping husband. And the weirdest thing happened. I saw him. For the first time in a long time. What I mean by that is--our lives are busy--he and I. We spend hours working and cleaning and fixing and cooking and cookie baking and home-working and soccer parenting. And I realized it had been so long since I really looked at him. Like really looked at him. It was the weirdest, coolest, saddest feeling. How long has he been there right in front of me, but I'm too busy to just stare at his face?

Too long.

And then I realized--he's still handsome. Really handsome. A few more pounds (and I mean a very few--he has killer metabolism), and a few more wrinkles, but he's the same guy I met in my parent's living room. The same missionary I fell in love with through letters. The same boy I married.



Because sometimes I forget.

And then I thought...I did good.

Yeah, I did. I did really, really good.